It might seem a contradiction or incongruous that many people find holidays stressful. After all, holidays are "supposed" to be a time for relaxation aren't they? So, why the anxst? One explanation might be that we relax in different ways. When we go on holiday with friends or family, we end up in close proximity for a concentrated period of time. This might be as little as a weekend, or three days. Whatever the time period, we want to ensure that we get the best break that we can - after all, it is "our" holiday. If we don't get away very often, it's understandable if we want to do exactly what we want to do. However, does this clash with what someone else in the party might want to do? Do we want to compromise? Might we appear selfish if we insist on spending the time just how we want to? It is easy to see how conflicts can start to build and put strain upon relationships.
The school holidays can bring their own stresses, especially if the principal carer for the child usually works. Making arrangements for child care can be complicated and costly. Organising activities for siblings with different tastes can cause headaches. Spending time with their children might not be enjoyable for some parents. There are all sorts of reasons why this can be a stressful time.
On today's podcast you can hear how Alison, my client featured in the first episode of Relationship Matters, has approached the school holidays this year to make the break an enjoyable one for her and her daughter. You can also pick up some tips on how to manage your free time to make it enjoyable for all concerned.
Today's Key Points
- Whenever possible, makes some plans in advance of your holiday when you are not under pressure. This might involve making a list of things that you and other people going away with you might like to do whilst on holiday. Consider how much time you would like to spend on your activities. Have a mixture of whole-day and half-day activities, and things that might take just a couple of hours. Similarly, ensure that you have plans for adverse weather conditions if this is applicable to where you are spending your leisure time. Planning in advance doesn't mean that you have to know exactly what you are going to be doing every single hour of every day of your holiday. It does mean that you will have thought through the sorts of things that you would like to do, and make the choices easier on the day.
- Set aside the time to relax and have fun. Now, this sounds very obvious but I know, only too well from personal experience, that it is all too easy to get bogged down in the daily routines - especially if we are at home - and not give yourself free time. Too frequently I can find myself up in my office, doing some work, and telling the children that I don't have the time to play that game of badminton or chess with them. Not just now. Later, maybe.......... So, set the time aside in advance. Put it in your diary if you have to and make it an appointment with fun. Most importantly, keep the appointment.
- When you are working to a budget, do some costings in advance. Know what you can afford so that the range of activities that you're considering fall within your budget. Knowing that you are doing something that you can't really afford, or are going to have to pay for over the next year, can put a great deal of stress on you and may take the enjoyment away. There are many things that are free, so take advantage of them.
Until next time, stay well, keep happy and enjoy
great relationships!
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